Fatten On Us

“Relieve us of our money, scatter it for us, buy us and sell us, ruin us, only we beseech ye take rank among the powers of the earth, and fatten on us!”

Charles Dickens, Our Mutual Friend

As of today, with the inauguration of an unashamed plutocrat as president of the United States and the ostensible leader of the so-called free world, it’s possible to aver with a high degree of certainty that the population of the planet has been divided and consolidated into five immutable classes:

1. The trans-national plutocrats with the wealth and power to determine the fate of all the peoples of all the world’s nations.

2. The nominal governments of the world’s nations who serve as handmaidens to the plutocracy, facilitating and ensuring the flow of wealth from the poorest to the richest.

3. The hamsters who drive the great wheels of commerce and industry that create the wealth that flows from the poorest to the richest.

4. The benighted class of minimum wage earners who feed and water the hamsters who drive the wheels that create the wealth that flows from the poorest to the richest.

5. The inveterately lazy and the constitutionally feckless, including the drunkards, the drug-addicts, the physically and mentally disabled, the illiterate, the social deviants, the feeble and the artists who severally or individually lack the capacity or the inclination to assist in government, to adopt the behaviour of a hamster, or to feed and water the hamsters who drive the wheels that create the wealth that flows from the poorest to the richest.

“Fatten on us,” decree the governments, “for then we too shall be fatter.”

“Fatten on us!” cry the earners of the minimum wage, “For then thy tips will be the plumper.”

“Fatten on us,” whimper the inveterately lazy and the constitutionally feckless, “for then thy mercy shall be the greater.”

“Fatten on me,” thinks the hamster, “for then I too shall be redeemed.”

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